The Van Helsings of the Roach World.

My room mate (Steph) and I had a AFV moment with a roach.
That was funny.
So funny in fact, allow me give you the play by play:

S: "ROACH!" (points to under the dining table)
A bolts from couch, runs to bathroom to grab killing spray, runs back to dining room and starts rapid fire.
S takes zebra dust pan and tries to corner roach.
Roach scurries (yes, scurried.) off dust pan down the hall, toward A and A's room.
A: "EEPPPP!!!!!! IT'S ATTACKING ME!!!"
Roach turns and heads for S's room.
S: "AH! DON'T SPRAY IT INTO MY ROOM!!!"
A, with malicious fever in her eyes: "DIE ROACH DIE!!!"

...

We started cracking up.



Pretend the axe is a long handled, zebra striped dust pan and you've got Steph.



Now pretend the axe is in fact a bottle of bug killer, and you've got yours truly.



Awww sweet psychotic vengeance!

The Rising by Alarm.

“Tell them that I am defying gravity!” Plays for a minute, then shuts off for four, plays for a minute, and shuts off for four. The cycle repeats for about an hour.

“Cat! I’m a kitty cat! And I dance, dance, dance! And I dance, dance, dance!” Plays for a minute, then shuts off for four, plays for a minute, and shuts off for four. This too, repeats for about an hour.

Then comes the sound of John Clease pretending to be French in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Again, we have minutes of noise, minutes of silence, on and off for about an hour.

These play in between themselves, each minute played is one after the other. In essence, a five minute cycle consists of three minutes noise and two minutes silence.

There’s the half hour prelude of “Razor” by Foo Fighters and the half hour epilogue of “Jenny was a Friend of Mine” by The Killers.

This is how I rise in the morning. Fascinating no? Depressing if one thinks about it. My body so longs to stay cocooned in its shell of fabrics, that it takes an hour and a half to waken the mind enough to pull myself out of bed. I think I might need more sleep.

Let Go

Stop holding on to the mirror, staring at your reflection of the past
Don't reminisce of your gallant ghost; a vapor cloaked in hero's robes
Child of heartbreak fear not, for he'll haunt you no more

Someone needs to get her feet off memory lane
And her head back in the clouds
Dream deep sweet lover, dream deep

Keep treading water, waiting for the moment to be released
From this prison he's created, muddying the waters of your perceptions
Let me set you free, strip you of your shackles you once willingly donned

Walk from your distress oh steadfast innocence, leave naught behind
Turn your eyes and close your ears to the sight of his blood
To the sound of his last breath, his reality denied

Please bring your feet off memory lane
And rest your head back in the clouds
Dream deep sweet lover, dream deep

Mohr

A longing burns deep in my soul
A passion so hot it scalds the heart
A want that pressures the flesh
To walk upon the cliffs, satisfy my core

I wear the guise of slavery
I tread the earth with my ball and chain
I seek a key to unlock my shackles
To walk upon the cliffs, freedom to explore

Her wave of green
Her heart cry myth
Her legend long
To walk upon her cliffs, hear the ocean roar

Oh lady love
Oh Irish plain
With arms outstretched
I will walk upon your cliffs, dream forever more

Her Morning Elegance - Oren Lavie

Sun's been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Sun's been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Isaiah 61:1-3

Yes, I've been doubting. Not the system, for I know it works, but myself. My personal capabilities. It's called PFD (Post Function Disorder) amongst other things. But God is good, He is faithful, and He's banging at my door telling me I'm good enough, my fears are nothing He can't overcome and I shall succeed. Here's how I know.

He emailed me again.
On my drives to work I listen to CD's by people I look up to and mentor from in one way shape or form. They speak about freedom. About stepping up to the plate and taking control of your destiny, preparing security in an unsecure world, all with Christ's help and direction. I entered my J.O.B. and checked my email before getting started. This is what stared me in the face:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."
-Isaiah 61:1-3

I just about cried. Chills ran up and down my spine. God is good. He is faithful. He will never leave me, nor forsake me. And apparently He likes to email.

Don't doubt yourself. If beach bums and pot heads can pull a 180 and become some of the most successful people, financially, spiritually and in their families, there's nothing saying the rest of us can't either!

Build Your Crown!


Freedom is NOT free.
FED 2009

A Little Direction From the Big Man Upstairs...

I love how God emails me. I'm not being comical here, this was the email I found in my inbox this morning: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." -Galatians 6:9. Tell me that was NOT of God!?

In the car this AM I was listening to Bob and Shelly Kummer's CD and this was a paraphrase from her: "We have walls around our dreams and they're there for a reason. Not to keep us out, but rather to see how hard we're willing to fight for them." She also talked of a story about an occurrence between her and her daughter... She mentioned a line that I loved. Her daughter looked at her on the first morning that they went riding (after they bought their daughter a horse) and said, "Stop. Can you smell the saw dust???" They hadn't even reached the stable, and that was the first she said.

My favorite film is littered with dreams. Similar to the above, James Barrie in "Finding Neverland", while talking about his character Peter Pan to his theatre manager states this: "He [Peter Pan] imagines life the way he wants it to be, and he believes in it long enough and hard enough that it all appears before him, see?" If we speak our dreams into existence long enough and hard enough, and do what we can to work towards them, it is inevitable that we will achieve them.

Last night I watched a film entitled, "The Tale of Despereaux". Yes, it's a children's film about a mouse. However, this mouse was no ordinary mouse. He wouldn't cower, he was not afraid. There's a line where he's asked, "Are you a rat?" NO! is his reply, "Are you a mouse?" and after a moment of pondering he bows and says, "I am a gentleman." He battles his way throughout the film, and it's all on a dream, on standing for a cause bigger than himself...

So I ask you, are you a rat?
Are you a mouse?

Have you a cause?

Can you smell the saw dust?
I know I can, and I can see the stable ahead.

Build Your Crown!!!

Romans 8:31

"...If God be for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31

In attempting to paste pictures of my dreams in plain sight, so as to continually remind me of my goals in life, I stumbled upon the most beautifully serene photo I've ever seen...

Taken of Tuscany:



It's beauty like this that gives proof of my God's unending love.

Blues

It's that moment when your chest tightens in a knot right below the collar.
The moment when your breath becomes shallow, and lightning shocks your nerves.
Your posture straightens, and your head falls back, in anticipation of rain drops on closed eyes.
That's when your body begins to sway.
That's when your mind closes to the world and all that matters is the beat.
The pulse of life.
The potpourri of notes swirling together to form song.
Your shoulders lead, your hips follow.
Your weight shifts from your left to your right.
The hand upon your back guides your every move.
Your left hand rests and your arm keeps connection.
Your right hand becomes your rudder as he steers you across the floor.
This is your heart in motion.
This is your soul unleashed.
This... is blues.



"...These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away..."

Silence Hears None

Does anyone listen?
Do they hear?
Do they know the cries of my voice as I scream in the night?
Does anyone understand?
Do they comprehend?
Do they know when death creeps in, and steals their last breath?

Stumbling upon the rocks.
Beaten by the storm.
She lies in wait.
Waiting for her prey.
Here comes the plunge.
Blackhole bliss: release the dead.

Do the gods above listen?
Do the angels hear?
Do the demons below slaver blood from their mouths as I fall?
Does Christ condem?
Does the Devil grant mercy?
Do they know when death creeps in, and steals my last breath?

Stumbling upon the rocks.
Beaten by the storm.
I pray on torn knee.
Waiting for the light.
Here comes the night.
Blackhole bliss: release the dead.

Will you listen?
Will you hear?
Will you come to the aid of one who aids none?
Will you understand?
Will you comprehend?
Will you know when death creeps in, and steals your last breath?

Will you know?


"Where'd you go psycho boy?"
"...I felt like destroying something beautiful."

Its swimming in my mind and I cannot seem to surface...

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... world
Enlarge your world
Mad world
Mad World - Gary Jules

Loneliness on a Crowded Street

Strawberry Swing...

There's a rhythm, but no rhyme.
A motion but the ocean dried in moonlit time.
Breath, but the man doesn't breathe.
No more sleep, there's no need.
A rhythm but no rhyme.

There's wine red blood, but no beat.
A summer's breeze dances in winter's heat.
A drunkard and his lady Gin.
Tears held back, placid strength.
Wine red blood, but no beat.

There's a rhythm, but no rhyme.
The water and the pump, but the hand is missing time.
Laughter, but the man doesn't smile.
No more sleep, leave for awhile.
A rhythm but no rhyme.

Strawberry Swing...

Wider

This hole is getting wider and wider
No matter how many times shovel hits ground
Wider and wider
Loose earth piles round
But this hole is just getting wider

Tip toe on egg shells
Pray this paper thin thread
Won't break under the weight
Of this living half truth

You can't take back your words
The lies only get wider and wider
No matter how many times shovel hits ground
Wider and wider
Loose earth piles round
This hole is getting wider

Like treading thin ice
Like walking on water
It's the quicksand
But we all know it isn't that fast

You can't dig yourself out of a hole
The mess only gets wider and wider
No matter how many times shovel hits ground
Wider and wider
Loose earth piles round
This hole is getting wider

There's no climbing up the mounds
No out stretched hand to pull you out
Sound emits nothing but air from your mouth
Tears make tracks down your dirt smitten face

But there's no climbing up the mounds
No out stretched hand to pull you out
No matter how many times shovel hits ground
Loose earth piles, edges round
And this hole gets wider and wider

Validation?

Well, we're going on day four of nothing, and it seems the longer the silence draws out, the less upset I am. I had an epiphany the other day, as I was lounging with my friend and mother. Quite exciting really. I figure I'm on number six, and according to my mom, the next is number seven; lucky seven. SO! With that in mind, there's hope yet!

I've a meeting to attend tonight for my business. Who knows? Maybe No. 7 will be present. Maybe, just maybe, we'll say "Hi" and exchange a few laughs. Or it is possible No. 7 won't be present and we won't converse. That's alright too. I still have No. 6, just not sure for how much longer. It seems almost pointless. As though it's really just a waste of time. I drove to this point in my epiphany. Came to this conclusion without a map, sort of just hit me square in the face. I wonder what No. 6 is doing... I wonder if No. 6 understands what goes on in my mind, or if No. 6 thinks of me as often as I think of No. 6. I doubt it. However! One cannot be hasty, so I'm waiting, not quite so patiently, but waiting nonetheless (did you know that is in fact one word?). I'll sit and twiddle my thumbs until I hear from No. 6. That'll be a happy moment, even if fleeting, when I hear from No. 6. It will indeed.

I was reading in a book recently that we, as humans, thanks to the fall, crave validation outside of our own personal esteem. I fear I tumble into this category quite completely. Why is there this need to receive compliments of various sorts on a regular basis, otherwise one's self-worth seems, well, worthless? Well, simply because now there's a barrier between God and man. Thankfully Christ is our bridge, but it's harder to get that validation. It's a constant struggle that is easier found through man, then The Supreme Being. Wretched. I find myself wanting this validation from men, be it my father, friends, beaus, which ever... Quite sad. It's been pointed out that, yes, I still have this need, and so I'm going to do my best to curb it.

Now, if only No. 6 would call...

Unknown Lover

Only known through the pains of beveled glass
The closer I am, the farther you run
This plague ridden lust
Touch the flesh; leave the mind undone

Is it too much to ask
A small peice of your heart
A light into this tunnel black
You touch my flesh, and I fall apart

Does it make you worry
Does it make you tremble at my kiss
Knowing I want more
Knowing I need more than this

The longer we play this charade
The darker your shadow becomes
The colder you turn
The less I succumb

Man of mystery
This facade you've donned
Cannot mask your fear
It swims in your eyes
And drips from your blood

So I'll sit here on this side of the beveled glass
For the closer I am, the farther you run
I'm tired of this plague ridden lust
Don't touch my flesh; leave me undone

LipStick

...a woman always feels more grown up when she leaves lipstick on her cup.

I guess for today, I can wear my mama's shoes and pearls and horn-rimmed glasses... so long as I leave lipstick on my cup.

Letters

Soon I'll be alone.
Soon I'll be by myself, on my own.
Left to my thoughts, left to my hauntings
Left to myself, alone.

(Chorus)
I want to know the real you
I want to know why you think the way you do
But sadly all I have are the letters you wrote
Years ago, to someone else

Once I'm alone, by myself, on my own
I'll have to figure out how this world turns
Why its axis tilts
Why equllibrium is key
I'll need to find the "becauses" to my "whys"

I wonder what will happen
Once you've faded into the horizon
Will I move on?
Will I find the answers that I seek?

(Chorus)

I wonder what happened to the past
The short lived joys
The days of laughter
Days when you let me know what was ticking on your reel

Now I search for a stranger to confess to
A voice that has no preconcieved notions
No judging thoughts in the parking lot
Just a voice with whom I can delve into the deep unknown

It seams I've lost you
Lost what I thought I knew
Lost the key to opening your door
And now I'm left to the stranger once more

(Chorus)

I wanted to know the real you
I wanted to know why you think the way you do
But sadly all I have are the letters you wrote
Years ago, to someone else

Now you're just a line on the horizon
A dot upon the atlas
An index card filed away in the corner of my memory
And to think today is merely Monday

Pondering the Complexities of the Down Trodden Mind...

Consider this:
...

Exactly. My mind is on overdrive and I can't seem to shut it down. I'd like to think that I've more control over my life than I, in fact, actually do. I find it fascinating that within a span of three days, I've read or been told this little fact: I'm not in control.

What!? When did this happen?

When did I lose control over what I call "my" life? What we call "our" lives!? Apparently we never had it in the first place.

Control is merely an allusion, a little veil that hangs before your eyes, lying to you, telling you that you have the power to choose your destiny. What it fails to inform you of is that, although you might be able to physically move one foot in front of the other, you have no sway over who might walk in front of your path, who might stand in your way, or what may hinder your progress. You've no idea, no comprehension of the people, things, events that, like monsters under your bed, could rise and take hold of you from behind, dragging you into their dark chasms of despair. Riveting no?

So now that we've all been informed that we, as difficult as it may be to understand, have no manipulation over our lives, what do we do? Where do we go from here? I'm sorry, but this has completely shaken my world to pieces, little fragments of an ideology now thrashed upon the broken concrete of my mind. Do we gather ourselves from the ground and try to put the shards back together, a puzzle if you will? I'm sorry, but if we've no control how on earth are we supposed to pick ourselves back up!?

Jesus Christ. That's a Being of whom I fully believe in to be THE one and ONLY God. With a capital "g". So, this being said, you'd think I wouldn't mind not being in control, considering I've this almighty God protecting me and guiding me. Ye of little faith! As childish as I am, as much as I strive to hold on to all things young, why cannot I follow Him blindly like a child!? Why is "faith like a child" so difficult to grasp? This is when my adult mind kicks in, the one moment when I'd rather it not, it does.

I read recently that "reality is like fine wine... It doesn't appeal to children". I think there's truth in that, for I fear that I cling far too tightly to my blanket of childhood. To the comfort in lack of responsibility.

Only, in doing so, I'm falling deeper and deeper into a depression clouded by happiness. I want to stop falling, I want to finally touch the blades of grass that wave at me from below.



I want to stop.

Silence the Voices

The voices in your head
Swing from the sinue of your mind
Chanting thoughts and words
You know are not your own desires
But you listen to them
You listen and you drink
Their words like wine

Oh we're nothing more than an empty shell
To shed our skin and let our souls dance
Upon the velvet grass and soar freely
Like eagles, we're searching for the perfect resting
Ground our hearts for we wear concrete shoes

This maelstrom thrashes about my mind
These words choke as they flow from thought
To phrase this emotion would entomb a nothingness
And the rambling would cease
As would my sanity

These voices in my head
They pull at my right and wrong
They say the words I feel
They torment me with distress
And here I lay - unrest

Trapped within a walking corpse
Longing to be free, my heart begs to explode
To burst into ten million shards
Sharp enough to waken the dead
And rehabilitate the rest of the world

Tired I lay
Tired I strive to accomplish this alone
And so doing, tired I'll stay

Escape With Me

Fly away with little boy lost
Never grow up, never grow old
Never know hurt, never know love
Live in childlike ignorance
This far away place, this Neverland

Trapped within an aging case
A mind that cries for escape
This world we walk upon
Is filled enough to make you want to drown
To lock yourself inside your imagination
You own world, your Neverland

You wish they could hear your cries
You wish they could understand
Why you run in circles round
When you wish you could run in circles square
Away from ordinary, in your Neverland

Fly away with little boy lost
Never grow up, never grow old
Never know hurt, never know love
Live in childlike ignorance
This far away place, this Neverland

Fly away with little boy lost
Flood your world with mindless fun
Leave the worry, embrace no care
Never grow up, never grow old
Never know pain, never know love
This far away place, this Neverland

Wishing for Rain

Sunny Sunday does nothing for your nerves
When all you wish was graying rain to fall
Washing away the salt from your eyes

A half eaten doughnut upside down
Will only make you frown
Your smaller half cheers you by turning it round

Crying takes the wind from your lungs,
The strength from your bones
Perhaps that’s why you’ve been so tired…

Fall asleep to the sound of your tears
Falling from your nose, drowning your pillow wet
Where is the rain you’ve dreamt of
To cloud your saddened silhouette

Light At The End

Round the maypole it twists
A serpentile double helix
Pain is this burden that I bare

Morphine drips steady to my veins
Numbing the pain, take emotion away
A corpse I lie, an empty shell forever dim

Knife to my side, rip this deformity
Diminished to scars and flesh
My heart bleeds red upon the floor

Morphine drips steady to my veins
Numbing the pain, take emotion away
A corpse I lie, an empty shell forever dim

Light at the end of my tunnel
Please take this mangled hand
Mend this shredded soul

Wipe this salt water sea from my eye
Bend the waves of time
Release me from my anguish

Don't turn your back, don't give in
To the pressures of the world
Be my support, my candle hope

Light at the end of my tunnel
Share the warmth of your embrace
Never let go, forever to stay

Frustrated Agony

Frustrated, passionately angered
To the side my head lays cocked in constant confusion
Tried to run, tried to bury the past
Yet this monster forever raises it's head

Forgive and forget
So quickly I was able
Yet this monster won't allow it
Forgetting was never so hard
But now like daggers the past tears in

A sharpened blade to re-open the wound
No needle nor thread to soucher this heart
No drug nor relief
I beg, I plead, please take this away

Resentment sets in
Why can't it all fade to black
This new life I've found brings joy
Yet the old holds me back

Running shoes worn through
Hunched over on the gravel, regaining my breath
Water run dry, cept for the tears in my eye

I tried to forget, tried to escape
Tried to redefine all that I am
But you won't let me start over
Won't let me start anew

Moved on, too long ago
There's no room at the inn
It's merely a matter of time
Before you rip another to shreds

Untitled

Let it fall, racing tracks down the lines of your back
Let it capture all your pain like a fisher's net
Leave discouragement at the door
Let it knock, let it pound, lock it out
Forever is more finate than you know

Let your life vest fall to the floor
Dip your feet in the ocean breeze
Feel the waves rush through your hair
Smile as you float to your grave of salt
Your bed of sand, blanket of sea

She sits upon the rock that jettisons from the foam
Sings her mournful song to wake the stars
Her scaley skin glimmers as moonbeams dance upon their stage
Her voice of haunting draws you in
Close your eyes, just listen

Let your life vest fall to the floor
Dip your feet in the ocean breeze
Feel the waves rush through your hair
Smile as you float to your grave of salt
Your bed of sand, blanket of sea

Let the water slowly fill your lungs
As she sings her mournful song
Her voice of haunting draws you in
Willingly you walk this sea weed floor
Willingly you drown a little more

Give in, give up, release, captive no more
Float away, leave your sea weed floor
Drown out her voice of haunting
Sing your life song, breach the water's seal
Tread for now, shore is but a hope away

Don't let your life vest fall to the floor
Dip your feet in the ocean breeze
Feel the waves rush through your hair
Smile as you float upon the ocean foam
Leave your bed of sand, breathe the salt filled air
Tread your water, for shore is but a hope away

Drowning Intended

Drown in the music
Washed under with each swell
Pulled deeper by each haunting ocean rift

Please make this heart stop
Blood to pump only by the pulse of the bass
This yearning felt by electric string, pulls deeper still

Close these blood stained eyes
Let each note slither through twisted vein
Each pore to open, embrace the thrill

Euphoria sets in, mind quickly void of thought
Chest rises, one breath, one breath, none
In the end, the music stops

Silence will set, stillness finale
When Death shall kiss your life drenched lips
Until then, hold to the notes and let your knuckles bleed white

World Order: Rebellion

Sit with me while the world crashes round.
I'll hold your hand as we walk down the aisle of death.
With the sun rising on our backs, sweet redemption sets with the moon, leaves with the tide.
Here comes the day, no light to save them, as the world falls.

A kiss on the cheek as the sky rains acid round.
Dry those tears, cause fighters must smile in the face of death.
Hold on a little tighter to your fantasy world, for it vanishes with the night like Dracula's bride.
Here comes the day, no light to save them, as the world falls.

Lie to me while this mind runs circles round,
The paths of right and wrong, decisions made are life or death.
Head high, tie taught, no time for games since now you've grown, here's to your pride.
Cause here comes the day, with no light to save them, and the world falls.

We'll continue to laugh days and years round.
We'll drive miles a second, cheating and racing death.
We'll break out of our monotony, cast these shackles from our wrists, no longer we'll hide.
Cause here comes the day, and we won't go down with them, as the world falls.

No longer am I bound
So I shall break out
And I will defend passion burning
And I will defy these laws
This is my cry, my solemn vow

Montague

Leave me for who I pretend to be
Want me for who I aim to be
Love me for who I am


Needing Neverland

In this desert where rain never falls
I want to give the soil all it thursts
Thrust my hurt from these eyes
Water the plants with my deep hidden cries

It's all just a battle, make it to the top
The prize is light at the end of the tunnel
It's the journey that we struggle
The journey that brings us to our knees

Anger hot as flame, this pain bottles up inside
Don't show you're vulnerable
Don't show your insides
It's all just flesh deep
I cling to these lies

I want to close my eyes and fly away
Sink into my Neverland
Wrap myself in a blanket of dreams
Sail away through the sea of stars
Sink into my Neverland

Petty, cries the scholar
Lame, huffs the boy with his board
Truth is all I ask for
Yearn for black and white
Yet here I drown in grey

Sit upon the porcelain
Curtain between the rest of the world and I
Drops of heat shower me in warmth
Don't move, don't breathe, just be

My scale is tipping, slipping, breaking, cord undone
As the contents spill upon the floor
There's nothing left to catch me
I've been here before

I want to close my eyes and fly away
Sink into my Neverland
Wrap myself in a blanket of dreams
Sail away through the sea of stars
Sink into my Neverland

It's a simple plea, does He hear?
It's all just a battle, make it to the top
The prize is light at the end of the tunnel
This journey won't bring me to my knees


Be my rain
Wash from me the strain
Lift my head above the water
Stave from me this pain

Hold On

Forever friends
This bond which has been forged in time
Between two kindred hearts
A tale, a step, a journey writ
No woe to fail this line

Lift me up
Be the oxygen for my flame
And soil for my roots
I'll be your thunder after lightning
And wind beneath your rain

Life can tarnish
A soul so clean, once burning bright
Pain distorts reality and bolts eternal doors
You've entered my chaos
But I beg you stop before the moore

Drowning down
Can't cyphon this liquid from my lungs
But I know you're here beside me
Hold on a little longer, just wait a moment more
I promise I'll resurface, we'll be just like before