Validation?

Well, we're going on day four of nothing, and it seems the longer the silence draws out, the less upset I am. I had an epiphany the other day, as I was lounging with my friend and mother. Quite exciting really. I figure I'm on number six, and according to my mom, the next is number seven; lucky seven. SO! With that in mind, there's hope yet!

I've a meeting to attend tonight for my business. Who knows? Maybe No. 7 will be present. Maybe, just maybe, we'll say "Hi" and exchange a few laughs. Or it is possible No. 7 won't be present and we won't converse. That's alright too. I still have No. 6, just not sure for how much longer. It seems almost pointless. As though it's really just a waste of time. I drove to this point in my epiphany. Came to this conclusion without a map, sort of just hit me square in the face. I wonder what No. 6 is doing... I wonder if No. 6 understands what goes on in my mind, or if No. 6 thinks of me as often as I think of No. 6. I doubt it. However! One cannot be hasty, so I'm waiting, not quite so patiently, but waiting nonetheless (did you know that is in fact one word?). I'll sit and twiddle my thumbs until I hear from No. 6. That'll be a happy moment, even if fleeting, when I hear from No. 6. It will indeed.

I was reading in a book recently that we, as humans, thanks to the fall, crave validation outside of our own personal esteem. I fear I tumble into this category quite completely. Why is there this need to receive compliments of various sorts on a regular basis, otherwise one's self-worth seems, well, worthless? Well, simply because now there's a barrier between God and man. Thankfully Christ is our bridge, but it's harder to get that validation. It's a constant struggle that is easier found through man, then The Supreme Being. Wretched. I find myself wanting this validation from men, be it my father, friends, beaus, which ever... Quite sad. It's been pointed out that, yes, I still have this need, and so I'm going to do my best to curb it.

Now, if only No. 6 would call...